Just Another Day

Today wasn't the least bit unusual.  I woke up about 11, checked Email on my phone for a bit, then got up and made coffee.  While the coffee was brewing, I took my shit ton of vitamins.  With my coffee, I sat in front of the computer, caught up on my favorite newsgroup, and scanned Facebook for interesting articles.  By noon, I had finished my coffee and had a granola bar.  I watched the first episode of FLCL on YouTube and thought that was wacky and interesting enough to check out a few more episodes someday.  About 1 I started getting dressed to go for a run.  I got in the car, turned on the phone's GPS, and fired up Ingress.  I hacked and recharged a couple portals on the way to the woods.  The run was good.  It was just a bit cool, about 45°, and sunny with a slight breeze.  I didn't see a single bird during the run.  After the run, I drank some Gatorade and hacked a few more portals on the way back to the condo.  I started a load of laundry then got back on the internet and looked up places to go bald eagle watching at Jordan Lake.  It just so happens that Jordan Lake has the highest concentration of bald eagles on the east coast.  How about that?  I finally got to shaving and taking a shower about 4.  I looked all over the condo and through several boxes for a set of compact binoculars that I haven't seen in a while with no success.  Then I thought, this day sounds just perfect for an update to the blog I haven't posted to in over a year.

Beware the Ides of March and females with shotguns.

Beware the Ides of March and females with shotguns.

Here's a story from 2003 or 2004.

I was married to a knee-jerk liberal, I'll call her Lisa, who thought she was smarter than everybody else, except for John Stewart.  It's funny, Lisa actually thought his name was John Daily because his show is called the Daily Show.  I found out the following events about a week after they occurred, because the participants, a mentally ill 45 year old, Lisa, and a deranged and suicidal crack baby teenager, Shae, swore to each other that they would never tell anybody what happened.  Some idiots just can't keep a secret.

This happened in a working class black neighborhood just north of Over-The-Rhine in Cincinnati, Ohio.  Over-the-Rhine has the highest rate of violent crime by zip code in the entire United States.  I used to keep a home defense Mossberg 500 shotgun in the kitchen broom closet.  One day when I was out of town Shae came over to hang out with Lisa.  Shae lived in the Parker house which was on the same street.  With Lisa watching, Shae went into the broom closet and pulled the fabric shotgun case out of the closet.  Lisa carefully and apparently calmly watched her unzip the case and remove the shotgun to look at it.  Neither Lisa nor Shae had any experience handling firearms but that was okay because Lisa had a master's degree in art history and was smart, right?  Lisa watched Shae handle the shotgun and then decided they should leave the kitchen and go out on the porch with it.  With Lisa "supervising" she watched Shae work the action, thus chambering a round.  Shae also eventually unlocked the safety and pulled the trigger.  Boom!  Shae discharged a round into the backyard.  Briefly realizing that she was a total idiot, (not Shae, but Lisa) Lisa had Shae put the shotgun back in it's case and put it back in the broom closet.  They both sat in the kitchen and waited several minutes for the police to arrive.  The police never came, it was THAT kind of neighborhood.

The next week I checked on the shotgun and noticed it had a round in the chamber and had been fired.  I asked Lisa if she had touched the shotgun.  She then recounted this incredible story of ultimate stupidity.  Her excuse?  "It's okay, I was watching."  I said, "You do not even know how to handle a firearm.  She could have blown your head off!"

Eventually I got an offer from someone I trusted at the time to hold on to my guns, and due to Lisa's idiotic irresponsible actions, I got all the firearms out of the house.

Blogs and partying on Mondays

I just found out that I have two blogs.  Holy shit!  I'd nearly forgotten that I have even one.

Anywho, it's been several months so here goes.

I party on Mondays.  Monday just SOUNDS mundane.  So rather than just hate the day, I get home and party like it's Monday.  Tonight I stopped by one of the local Food Lion stores, got the groceries, headed across the street to the ABC store, got some gin, headed a couple doors down to the Teeter, and scored some vermouth because it's Monday!  So I cooked dinner (chicken breasts and zucchini) and as I got ready to eat it, I got invited to a Google Hangout.  Now I'm on my third martini and having a wonderful Monday evening.

Here's to Monday's!  Cheers!

Hmmph

I got an Email from Google today about having to do something to maintain this blog.  I clicked on the links and got informed that it doesn't exist.  How odd as I'm posting to it right now.  I noticed that I haven't posted since 2009, a mere 3 years ago.  Maybe I should start writing about the mundane things in my life again.

The Pool

I've got a pool now.  I've actually had it since late January and the water temperature is finally warm enough to swim in (77°F) without jumping out immediately.  Pools require considerable maintenance.  I check the skimmer basket and pump basket daily.  Once or twice a week I brush and vacuum.  I regularly check water chemistry and occasionally backwash the filter.  It's not too much work if I can keep up with it.

This pool is big - 16' x 32' or so with a spa and a diving board.  It dominates the backyard and looks fantastic lit up at night.  While in the pool I think of the house that came with it as just a poolhouse.

The best thing about the pool is being able to run out the back door like a madman yelling "Yoo hoo!" and jumping into the pool, with or without a swim suit.  It's great floating around and thinking or even saying out loud "We have a pool!  We have a pool!"  It must be even more fun for the wife and child, who get to do the same thing without any of the upkeep.

The second best thing is being in that elite group who can frequent a pool supply store.  It costs about $70 a visit for whatever.  You must watch it though.  Last weekend I went in for a $15 light bulb and was offered a $370 LED version that could make the pool glow several colors.  The $15 light required a $20 gasket and an $8 tube of pool lube for a grand total of $51 + tax.  Less than $70 - success!

I'm sure someday I'll come home and have to clean the gosh darned pool.  Right now, I don't feel that way and I hope this newness lasts.

We've got a pool!

Wednesday

Today is Wednesday.  About 2 or so it actually felt like a Wednesday and not another Monday.  Last week was four and a half Mondays.  Friday afternoon felt somewhat like Friday and not Monday.

I wonder ... will tomorrow feel like Thursday or yet another Monday?  Maybe it will be a  pre-Friday!

My Friday

In keeping with the theme I thought it be nice to write about my Friday. 

Friday starts suddenly at 5:30 AM with the sound of my cell phone alarm.  Actually, to be more accurate, it starts at 1:00 with my wife jolting me from my sleep.  This happens often enough.  I look at the clock and go back to sleep.  THEN the cell phone alarm goes off and I promptly get up, shut it off, and proceed to get moving.  

Friday is a running day.  I go downstairs completely nekkid and check the temperature.  I can do this without leaving the house thanks to a marvel of modern technology, the wireless weather station (a gift from my dad a couple xmases ago) - 50°F!  Awesome!  I put on shorts and a t-shirt, drink two glasses of water, grab my stopwatch, and step out into the morning.  Texas weather rocks in the winter.  On mornings like this I never wish to be in Cincinnati.  After a quick few stretches I hit the road.  No major pains today.  Earlier this week (Monday afternoon at 2:30PM to be precise) my hip suddenly started to hurt and I was literally limping around.  It hurt enough to pop ibuprofen like candy (well, 800mg every 4 hours) for a couple days and even skip the run Wednesday (another running day).   I run at an easy pace and do my few sprints rather slowly.  To keep running fun I often vary the pace, sprinting from one park bench to another or phone pole to phone pole.  The hip only complains a little.  Overall, the run was relatively slow - 3 miles in 30:20 .  Not great but not too bad for not being 18 anymore.  Back at the house I drink a half bottle of Gatorade while doing some light stretching and faking Tai Chi.  

At 6:18 I eat 4 ibuprofen (better to head the hurt off before it starts), start the coffee and head upstairs for a shower and a shave.  I need to digress on the coffee.  I LOVE coffee.  I got a Technivorm coffee maker at no small expense a few years ago and I LOVE it too.  The coffee of the day is Ethiopia Sidamo, a good bold flavor and I make it strong.  At 6:39 I'm getting dressed.  Friday is Dickies Day and I get to wear jeans.  Yeah!  I wear Dickies because I don't want to catch shit for not having that red logo on my butt.  Yes, people look at my butt at work.  We draw the line at sniffing each other like dogs.  I also wore a beige knit pique long sleeve polo.

6:45 is the time to wake the girls.  I go downstairs and get two cups of coffee, each with a splash of milk.  I sip mine on the way up.  Damn, that's good coffee.  I put Lisa's on the night stand, gently push her shoulder, and say, "Coffee, baby... coffee's on the table...coffee... it's right here."  "Alright!  OK!", she finally says.  I feel the need to be somewhat annoying to get her to actually get out of bed but it works and I enjoy it.  I move on to the younger girl.  She is actually sleeping in her bed after sleeping in a "nest" on the floor for a week.  (I'm enjoying writing this.)  Getting Gwendolen up is not very easy - I think she gets it from her mother.  My gentle prodding and coaxing is often answered with squeaks, "leave me alone," and "go away."  Today wasn't so bad and she woke up easily enough but getting her dressed turned out to be a challenge.  The most effective leverage seems to be the promise of seeing "Little Einsteins" in its entirety while eating breakfast.  To do that she needs to be up and dressed by 7:00.  Today she's 6 minutes late, even with Lisa's help.  

If I can get Lisa and Gwen up quickly enough, I get a little chill time.  Today I waste it (it's MY time) watching a couple minutes of TV and checking Email.  At about 7:20 (well, exactly 7:20) I remember to make Gwendolen's lunch:  peanut butter and raspberry jam on wheat, a cut-up apple, multi-grain chips, and a juice box.  I'm brushing my teeth at 7:25.  I have to use Lisa's yucky fluoride-laden Crest as I've been out of my tasty fluoride-free Tom's of Maine for a few days.  With some quick goodbyes (I actually get a hug from Gwendolen) I'm out the door for work.  

The drive is uneventful.  My game is to get to work without hearing too much blabbering and any commercials.  It takes skillful mashing of the preset buttons while navigating.  I get to the parking lot at 7:55 and walk the block to the office.  Work has been brisk lately.  Fortunately I feel caught up and have that good feeling of managing many things at once without neglecting anything important.  I actually enjoy my job and I haven't known any of my co-workers long enough to dislike any.  I suppose I could go into more detail on my workday but to do so I should have everyone who reads this sign a confidentiality agreement and I think that would be a bit cumbersome.  I'll stick to the highlights.  I get paid and that is always good.  I nearly always enthusiastically say, "I'm getting paid again already!", and mean it and Friday was no different.  The day flies by with only 3 hours being taken up by meetings.  At 5:00 I promptly shut down my PC and jet out to pick up the critter.  

This week Lisa started working again and we have to work around Gwendolen's school schedule.  Lisa drops her off and I pick her up.  The challenge is to get across town by 6:00 to avoid rather expensive aftercare rates ($6 per minute).  I was a little apprehensive about making it as this was the first Friday that I had to drive down 35W which can get hairy.  The drive is actually fairly smooth.  Only one asshole in a large blue truck abruptly swerves into my lane without using a turn signal and I only hear parts of a couple commercials.   

I arrive at school and Gwendolen is having a game of chess with the teacher!  Wow, 5 years old and playing chess.  Closer inspection shows that they are merely putting the pieces away.  Gwendolen insists that she was not playing chess.  I get Gwendolen in the car and head towards home.  A few more times she insists that she was not playing chess.  She does relay that she did have a good day and that she still enjoys aftercare.  We play a game making silly versions of Chicken McNuggets.  "What if it was gummy bear McNuggets?  Would it be breaded fried gummy bears?"  I try to make sure Gwendolen gets her daily allotment of silliness.  We stop at the My T Mart to get a lottery ticket because you can't win a lottery of money without buying a ticket.  Gwendolen talks me into a bag of Cheetos.  The total comes to $2.07.  Money well spent.  

Pulling into the parking place at the townhouse (actually it is an apartment even though the living spaces are all connected) we see that mommy is home.  Gwendolen carries her Cheetos and I carry our backpacks and jackets.  It's 70°F.  In January.  Hell yeah.  She wins the race to the door.  I come in a close second.  Gwendolen wants to sneak in but Lisa is in the kitchen and sees us straight away.  Gwendolen tries to sneak anyway.  Lisa is making tacos with pork.  I put our bags down, hang our coats, and pour a delicious Guinness Draft.  Lisa sees me do this and decides she wants one too.  She reaches for a standard pint glass but I remind her that there is another Guinness glass in the dishwasher.  Gwendolen pours herself a cup of cherry juice.  After pouring it to the very top she announces that she needs a straw.  Lisa tells her we don't have any.  I look in the pantry and, sure enough, we do have straws.  Gwenny gets one and giddily says, "Mom was wrong."  When Gwendolen finds out she's getting a pork chop (she doesn't do tacos, yet) she gets a little miffed and insists on chicken nuggets.  We lightly scold her and I recommend that she ask nicely.  She does.  Gwendolen and I watch a little TV, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, while Lisa finishes up.  It's Gwendolen's turn to set the table and she does it quickly so as not to miss too much excitement (Count Dooko getting captured by space pirates).  We turn the TV off for dinner.  My glass gets empty and I have to refill before sitting down.  Dinner is good (as almost always) and Gwendolen scarfs up her chicken nuggets.  She doesn't do so hot on the melted beans (refried beans) and rice.  Lisa and I clean our plates.  

I'm responsible for the aftermath of home cooking and I clean up the kitchen while Lisa write a scathing Email to our real estate agent.  One of my previously omitted workday highlights was getting an Email from Lisa that the house we are intending to buy now has a new roof.  This should be great news but the sellers neglected to let my wife and I pick the color (and the grade and the contractor) as was agreed to and signed off on in the contract.  I'm a bit miffed and Lisa is pissed.  I finish with the kitchen and Gwendolen decides to open her new xmas Play-Doh (in lieu of starting her Dora the Explorer garden.  We're saving that until after the move).  I get Gwendolen set up in her room with the Play-Doh and I check Email and read the news on Yahoo!.  

Once done with the scathing Email, Lisa announces that she's going shopping.  "You can't", I say, "I'm going on a beer run."  Lisa offers to get the beer for me while she's out getting her nicotine gum (I talk her out of getting cigarettes with a hug).  I pull up the specials on the internet and we decide on Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale.  While Lisa is out Gwendolen comes to me several times to open new Play-Doh containers and show me what she's made.  She makes a mouse, a shark, a dog, and a pancake-like thingy.  At about 8:00 I warn Gwendolen that it's getting past her bed time.  We agree that since it is not a school night she can stay up until 9:00.  Lisa calls from the liquor store.  The beer I selected is not in stock and none of the advertised specials are posted.  Lisa gets the attention of a Majestic Liquor Store employee and he shows her a list.  Lisa reads Sam Adams for $12.95 and I pick that.  At 8:39 Gwendolen is done with the Play-Doh and all her creations are set on a window sill to dry.  I talk her into getting ready for bed.  Lisa gets home before I get Gwendolen to brush her teeth.  Last night she had tried a sample of SpongeBob Squarepants toothpaste and she tells me how disgusting is was.  I pop downstairs and Lisa has bought Sam Adams Winter Lager.  I load the beer into the refrigerator and I leave one out on the counter to drink.  Lisa thanks me and asks if I want one, too.  Hmmph.  I manage to get Gwendolen into her jammies and Lisa reminds me that it is my turn to read her a story.  Gwendolen protests that it's mommy's turn but I remind her that Lisa read to her last night and I only got her ready for bed.  We read "How the Sea Became Salt", an interesting enough story with a completely ridiculous ending.  I wonder if Gwendolen believes such crap but don't ask, not tonight.  I hug Gwendolen goodnight and tuck her in, fluffing the pillow with her head.  

The rest of the evening is a blur.  I check Email and goof off on Facebook.  I see that a couple of fraternity brothers are online.  These are guys that I lived with, drank with, and puked on (forming sturdy cords of brotherhood) 20 years ago and have recently reconnected with but I don't feel like starting a chat.  I try to watch some TV.  I flip between Star Wars: The Clone Wars ( the same episode Gwenny and I watched before dinner) and the first Star Wars, Star Wars IV: A New Hope.  Avoiding commercials gets tiresome and I fall asleep on the couch.  At 11:00 I get up and go to bed.  Lisa is already crashed out in her pink flannel pajamas face down on the bed (she'd been there since Gwendolen fell asleep).

And THAT was my Friday.